If Twitter was a sport and short snooker

I've been trying to imagine that if Twitter was a sport, what sport would it be? I figured it would have to take place in short bursts. It would also have to be direct and have the qualities required of all good sports. That is being really interesting and engaging or crushingly boring and mundane at any moment.  One essential component would have to be that it must be completely impenetrable to newcomers. 

To that end I've decided that if Twitter was a sport it would be Fencing. Each point is almost always brief. It has its own variety of excitement, other times its humdrum. But it is almost always it's baffling to watch for the first time. It also has a range of expressions and conventions which take time to learn and can result in the occasional faux par for the uninitiated. Fencing is a sport that demands that you conduct yourself properly and observe the proper etiquette. It helps if you have good poise as well.

I've had one fencing lesson myself and had a great time. I've always fancied giving it another go but it's a bit pricey for people like me who are most likely to give up after a couple of weeks.

I had a look on Twitter to see if their were any prominent Fencing tweeters and found none. They're missing a trick methinks and if any fencers stumble across this blog, can I suggest they consider micro blogging their matches (if that's the right term)? I'll give you a hand if you like...

The good people of Sports Business have reported the following disturbing development in the World of Snooker ahead of the world championships which starts tomorrow.

SNOOKER’S GOVERNING BODY announced it will launch a new short form of the game, provisionally called ‘Super6s’, in a bid to shake-up and modernise the sport. The ‘Super6s’ format will have six-minute matches, and will reduce the number of red balls from 15 to 6 to speed up play. Sir Rodney Walker, the chairman of World Snooker, said, “As an observer of snooker you cannot churn out the same diet year after year. Look at what Twenty20 has done for cricket. It brought in a whole new audience so what we have in mind we think would be appealing to a younger audience.”

Not being young, I've taken something of a dislike to Twenty20 cricket. I don't think that this is because my attention span has increased since I've got older, I suspect it's because I think that the players look stupid in pyjamas and have that the short version of the game has appalling taste in music. I also think that a good number of Twenty20 matches end in a whimper just as much as a one day match or a test match.

Personally, I think that there is a place for long drawn out sporting events and am not convinced that young people don't like cricket and snooker because they are long. Golf is a sport which goes on forever, but you don't hear the PGA announcing a new Pitch & Putt3Hole competition designed to appeal to those valuable 18-25s who are so dynamic that they haven't even got time for a space bar, they're just too damn busy.

No, I suspect that the problems that Snooker and Cricket have is that people either believe it is a crap sport or they know it is a crap sport. Having said that, if by producing a shortened version for the benefit of a new audience, they can attract people to their sport then I guess it's not a bad idea. However, I'm not convinced that by making your beloved sport shorter, you're sending the right message. It's like saying "Snooker6s: It's good because it doesn't drag on as much as usual."

Besides, who says proper snooker can't be played quickly?